Tyreek Hill is Definitely a Strip Club Guy

 

(Image is owned by NFL's Instagram, we do not own the rights)

In the most outrageous NFL offseason of all-time, arguably the best wide receiver in the NFL is officially a Miami Dolphin. Insanity. Around 9 AM PST I received an alert that Hill was being shopped around and I thought that's random as hell. 3 hours later he gets traded for 5 picks to the Dolphins. I mean forget about the fit on the Dolphins and Tua being lowkey trash, the NFL offseason is ridiculous. This is NBA level stuff in terms of how many guys have changed teams and/or been traded. You absolutely love to see it. Fires me up man.

Now as for the blog title, it's a no-brainer. Tyreek when weighing the NY Jets and the Miami Dolphins had to be weighing the quality of strip clubs at some point. New Jersey or Miami? Hmmmm..... tough call. I personally have never been to Miami but you hear tales of the debauchery that ensues down there. And my senses are telling me Tyreek is definitely a cigar in the strip club kind of guy. Probably sunglasses on and stumbles out of there around 448 am in a frantic search for his uber. I'm certain those intangibles are a part of the record breaking contract he signed today to make him the highest paid receiver in the league. 


Tyreek: "I need club membership at X, a personal driver, a custom cheetah coat, and freedom to roam South Beach as I please at any time of day/night...these are my terms"

Miami GM prob: "Yeah whatever dude this isn't our first rodeo, sign here annnnnnnd here...."

Football wise, this offense is one of, if not THEE, fastest in the NFL. Jaylen Waddle, Raheem Mostert, Chase Edmonds, and now Tyreek Hill. Tua can't ask for a better onslaught of weapons so we'll see what kind of STUFF he has this season. He might get the Carson Wentz in Indianapolis treatment if he shits the bed this year. So it's now or never for the dude. But what's important is win or lose Tyreek is going to have a wild 5 year stretch in South Beach and ultimately that's where this decision stems from.


Tyreek's somewhere in there just having an all-timer

(Image owned vipsouthbeach, we do not own the rights)


-Peanut







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