Guardians of What? Cleveland Botches Name Change



This is exactly why you don’t let a room of crusty adults decide on what’s cool. The Cleveland Indians have officially changed their name to the Guardians after seemingly one zoom meeting and the consensus being well shit that’s fine I guess. What an awful name. You already have the Cleveland Browns who wear orange helmets, but at least there is history with that franchise so you give them a pass. But in 2021, the powers that be in Cleveland’s baseball organization decide the Guardians is the appropriate new direction to take. Guardians sounds like in 4th grade when you didn’t get picked to the team you wanted too at some kids birthday party. You go over to your mom and complain, “Mom I wanted to be on the Terminators” and she basically says, “Well just suck it up because it’s Tommy’s birthday party and his mom made cake. But don’t worry, it's only for today”. The Cleveland franchise doesn’t have the courtesy of it only being for a day however. Imagine spending months and months of time and resources only to come up with something that is universally hated. And didn’t this seem like it came out of nowhere? The Washington Football Team has been getting all the press for their name and they’re taking their time deciding (going to be 2 full years before they change their name). And out of nowhere the Indians scream out hey we’re the Guardians now, with the world replying why though? Look. I’m not a Cleveland guy but this name stinks. Nobody’s buying Guardians shit, it doesn’t sound cool, and it’s just stupid quite frankly. You want to start an intramural laser tag team then the name Guardians fucks. A professional baseball team? Tough sell. Looks like Francisco Lindor got out of there just in time. Salt in the wound.

-Peanut



(Michael Jordan meme image is property of GQ This Fake '30 for 30' for the Crying Jordan Meme Needs to Be Real | GQ, we do not own the rights)

(Cleveland Guardians image is property of fastphillysports.com, we do not own the rights)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Bears Empty the Brinks Truck for New HC Ben Johnson

Image
  (photo is owned by Bleacher Report, we do not own the rights) This analysis based on the ESPN article (https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/43627047/nfl-bears-ben-johnson-coach-contract-caleb-williams) Are things finally changing in Halas Hall? On January 21, 2025, former OC of the Detroit Lions and offensive guru Ben Johnson became the new head coach for the Chicago Bears. If you had taken a poll when the head coaching carousel began, odds are the general belief was that the Bears were #1 not going to pay top market money to get the most sought after coach and #2 mess it up. But after the dust has settled it is clear that GM Ryan Poles, President Kevin Warren, & Chairman George McCaskey, were all in alignment to doing whatever it took to get Johnson to Chicago. This act serves as an anomaly when compared to all of the head coaches hired since Lovie Smith was fired in 2012. It has been a cycle of dysfunction and none more obvious than the most recent HC Matt Eberflus. He was n...
Read more

Back to the Basics: Build the Line

Image
  (Image is owned by the Chicago Tribune, we do not own the rights) The main focus that GM Ryan Poles needs to have going into the 2025 NFL Draft and free agency is addressing the offensive line. If last season taught us anything, it’s that shiny objects i.e. Caleb Williams, DJ Moore, Rome Odunze, Keenan Allen, & D’Andre Swift, are not enough to build sustainable success around. The big men in the trenches may not get the shine or glory, but they are what makes the wheel turn. In Caleb Williams rookie season, he was sacked 68 times which ties David Carr for the 3rd most ever in an NFL season. This is not a new concept to the Bears shortcomings as previous QB Justin Fields was sacked 55 times just 2 years ago in only 15 games played. In order for any offense to function efficiently, the quarterback needs time to operate. It's just that simple. With 3 selections in the top 41 of the upcoming NFL Draft, there should be no doubt which position group the Bears will be addressing. S...
Read more

The Padres Mess

Image
(photo is owned by 97.3 The Fan, we do not own the rights) If you would've told me on opening day that on 8/2 the Padres would be 53-55, 8.5 games out of 1st, and 5 games out of the last wild card spot, it would not have computed in my optimistic Padres fan brain. But here we are witnessing exactly that. To say this season has been frustrating to watch is an understatement on a colossal level. Whatever can go wrong, has gone wrong basically. Here's a breakdown of what has gone on for far too long:      Danny Vietti ⁦‪@DannyVietti‬⁩ San Diego Padres this season Extra-innings: 0-10 record -WORST IN MLB 1-run games: 6-18 record -WORST IN MLB (-6.62) FanGraphs Clutch Rating -WORST IN MLB .226 BA with RISP -WORST IN NL .217 BA in 7th inning or later -WORST IN MLB (10-16 record vs. current last place teams) pic.twitter.com/W97pV8nYlN   8/1/23, 2:27 AM     Whatever can go wrong, has gone wrong. To put it lightly it's been a TOUGH watch. A couple things that stand ...
Read more